I always think, I should not become too wrapped up in everyday things and forget to live, in the moment.
When the everyday alarm is set for 6am, not that I need it, my brain is working already by switching it into day light saving mode and am up by 5! Hmm. Too much thinking and not much sleeping, can’t afford to sleep when you have the responsibility of being a parent & a partner. Everyday chores need to be done, everyday things need to be accomplished and most importantly, being is – needed.
I wonder what would happen if I don’t wake up, just to be lazy and loll around in bed. Maybe, I might catch another few hours of sleep, maybe I might drift back into a dreamless sleep and wade in the pool of happiness. Nice.
Life, it needs us to live. I get up even when I don’t have to and I work on automation. Get the things organised do the things that need to be done and then, what? So many things need to be handled, done, checked and finished and after a moment of having a lukewarm cup of coffee, all I see is the film of dust on the mantelpiece. Do I drink the coffee and do the cleaning or do I do the cleaning and then drink the coffee. National crisis can be resolved in such moments rather than deliberating issues such as these.
Everyone must have does this, we all have been at this spot, some are blessed as to not to notice that junction they are in. But, not me. There is that urgency, to do things neat and tidy, quickly, correctly and be this perfect being, yeah right, I wish. Not happening, not for the lack of trying but just, not possible. Who am I kidding, I am not a robot- love to be one though.
Do I make the bed or catch a few minutes of me time on the porch trying to feel the morning dew on my toes. The birds are already singing and promising that the day is going to be beautiful, few wisps of clouds are gathering and trying to bring color the blue sky. Stop, don’t wander away with these thoughts, it’s time to get up and be.
What if I don’t have to and I am just thinking about being needed, what then? Do I still live in the moment