What good does arguing do…no really

Well there are times I just want to yank every bit of my hair, rip it all out, over and over and again. Why do kids grow up at all. There are so angelic and happy when they are little. That phase I love! Wish they stay that small. Kids are getting smarter nowadays, have you noticed. They have the cheek to talk back, sorry, correct us and tell us what we should be doing. Of all the cheek.

If I ever did what they do now, oh my, off with my head. Being well behaved and well mannered was scrubbed into our brain cells, never talk back, don’t be rude, don’t be disrespectful…Well, we survived that upbringing and we enter into the new era of our kids telling us the same. Hello, am I missing something. What universe am I in?

Breathing helps, in and out. When they look at you with those eyes, as if we humiliated them and are not worthy of their association. They forget we are parents and we have a way about us to do the right thing by them. Yes, they don’t like where this is going, but, its really hard keeping it all in. Just breathe, in and out.

Don’t get me wrong. This is not a whinge fest where I go on and on about how bad my kids are. Well, they are not. Its just that we live in a era where everyone has an opinion and mine is looked as unconventional and not cool. Cool or not, I am a parent. I do not have to be cool as long as they get it into their heads, that they are important and above all what they do is also very important.

My mum had this rule (well, every mum did) that whatever I do, it will come back to her. She would say, I don’t want people to say your mum did not bring you up right. That was my yard stick, my rule book. My cooking, my dress sense, my manners and everything I did, I had to think over a few hundred times, will mum come to know about it. It was as if she was eternally watching me. My mum passed away 10 years ago and I still look over my shoulder. Old habits die hard. But, the point is, I know what I am doing is nothing wrong or so dramatic or life threatening, but still, I am cautious. Respect, that’s it.

I feel like I should slam the door at time, the frustration, the anger is over whelming that I get worried. I am not a teenager, but guess who is driven to behaving like one. Yes, yes, its just a phase and by the looks of it, I am heading towards a phase of run away from home, if I need to be sane. Its everything now and right now for them. No – it just cant be. There are rules and lines that need to be followed.

Latest studies show that the Gen-Y is lost and clueless as what they want to be, instead of the heroes they are meant to be. I hope by the time my youngest becomes a teen (in another 2 years) my oldest would give me the mental support I need to tackle the next battle. My husband says, he can never win a battle of words with me. I wonder if he ever sees me arguing with my daughter. I lose all the time, I walk out,  I sulk, I get frustrated arrgh… Yet, I never let on that I need his help, you know why, because guess who will run first. I am going to win this emotional war, even if I lose, its all worth it. These poignant moments is what I wait for, to realise that what good does it really do… arguing!



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