Anticipation

When we start off doing things we know we are good at, there are moments when it seems to stop us, just a few moments as if to backtrack or check ourselves, just in case. Why, I am not really sure. Of course, I am confident, resilient too- to an extent, but that apprehension is lurking…

The whole thing is we are building up this thing within us, grain by grain, brick by brick- for some, it’s years in the making and for some, just a few months or days. All this in line for that one thing- anticipation. Even before we know the consequence of our deed the process our brain goes through is pure anticipation!

What are we thinking so much about anyway. Why this niggling fear of not being good or getting it right. Of course we can’t always get it right, we do know that. We fall and we try to get up again, don’t we. Then why does this emotion that feels as if it grabs us by the neck, that heaviness in the chest and a sick throwing up feeling? We still need that acceptance, that one acknowledgment. Well, we are never going to stop looking for that, we know we need or deserve it and that my friend is the cause of all this anticipation.

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